work satisfaction

different work places can have strong effects on the type of job you 'feel' like you're doing.
i help deliver newspapers. i coordinate different set of people and numbers to make sure that everyone gets their globe and mail [my boss would kill me for not capitalizing, but i don't like using capitals]. this is not a highly important task in the grand scheme of things. people can do without their papers for a day. [except for maybe paul martin- he got very upset when we couldn't get one to him last summer]. yet, this job somehow makes me feel more satisfied than others. i sit at a desk and punch numbers. shuffle papers. take and make phone calls.
i think the key difference is feeling appreciated. my boss sends us gift baskets "just because", and organizes catered office lunches for birthdays and other events.

when i worked at the st. margaret's bay sailing club, despite my fancy title as "assistant manager", i felt useless. between al [his full name was allison, believe it or not] and i, we handled all day-to-day affairs at the club-house including paper work, bar/kitchen facilities, building/yard maintenence. we were indespensible for the club to stay open: the faces of the organization to passers-by, when everyone else was hidden behind the scenes.
yet, when large events were held, al and i had to take the back seat. after working all week with caterers, race organizers, and wedding planners- instead of coordinating the events, or working the bar.. we were shoved in the kitchen to wash dishes. half of the executive volunteers could not remember my name. i felt utterly unappreciated.

at tim horton's, the work was hard, long, dirty, and underpaid. employees quickly slipped into the sub-culture of the workplace.. talking trash about the employers. making fun of customers. we valued our worksmanship, not for what it gave back to the company- but because it made us feel elite over the "newbies" who flowed in and out on a monthly or weekly basis. we weren't even trusted. our uniforms had no pockets to reduce stealing. i came home tired, smelling like coffee, with burn wounds, and sore legs. i made friends there like you would make in prison. we talked about our plans to get out- to find something new. we shared news when we heard that someone was talking about escaping. we endoctrined the new ones on the rules of the game, and how not to get eaten alive.

i still don't think this is the job i want as a career, but i think i'm getting closer. this summer i have many more responsibilities, and can fairly efficiently handle much of the office tasks on my own. [2 staff are on vacation right now, and the 2 others are working exclusively on budgets, leaving me to handle the majority of the daily tasks and all incoming calls].
next time around i would like the chance to work more closely with others, or become more involved in event planing... though, i think i'll hold off on the career hunt while i'm in Oz, and just enjoy some easier work for a bit- bartending, waitressing.. maybe even fruit-picking.

well my flight ticket may have said Toronto, but i could have sworn i spent the weekend down south at a summer resort. 4 days of lounging around poolside at a beautiful 1920's era house surrounded by trees, next to a river- a 5 min walk from Bloor street. caro's place is amazing. turn one corner and you can't even hear the city anymore.

ivan and i were picked up by carolyn and andrei thursday evening, and we proceeded to start the weekend off right. jon was able to meet up with us, along with a few of our friends from TO and MTA. swimming, BBQing, drinking, and playing music until 5am. gotta love it when the air is still hot enough to lay around in a bikini from dusk to sunrise. [i think i'm making the right choice with the australia thing].
her 3 yr old puppy 'Roxy' is too cute- the breed is called a golden doodle: golden retriever and standard poodle. tall and thin with floppy ears and little dreds/curls of blonde fur.

we did a lot of walking, and a bit of shopping- bloor and younge on friday, queen on saturday, and kensington market on monday morning. seeing a city with someone who lives there is definately the best way to travel. you get to see things that are uniquely interesting and get a feel for what it's like to actually live there- not just visit all the tried and true tourist destinations.

and for the record- i went no where near the CN tower.

PS: jon, sorry we didn't get to the Red Room. "plans" are tricky business with caro & co. plus, we were trying to save $ by not eating out much.

went to see kathryn at work on my lunch break. wanted to see if she was ok. but i couldn't even talk when i got there. i was too shook up. the heat was insane- my shades fogged up as soon as i stepped into the car.
driving down oxford, i thought i recognized your walk. i do that all the time, so i assumed it was just my mind playing tricks again. but there you were.
looking the same. dressing the same. walking the same, with someone beside you. i don't drive by your house anymore. but i still scan pedestrians, apparently.. and cyclists.
i wanted to stop- to say something, anything. i was in traffic, i had to keep moving. you didn't even see me. i had a panic attack in my car. i've never had one before. hyperventilating, a huge head rush, and my face and hands went numb. i rounded the next few corners and stopped the car as soon as i could. didn't think i had the capability to react that strongly to anything, let alone to you. but there i was.
sucking air in by gasps.

logic

this weekend i saw a 6 month old infant be "cleansed of his sins" and "exorcised of satan". yep, a good old fashioned Catholic baptism. that's great. i'm sure little Matteo has committed many sins in his 6 months of life. definately not an innocent child. there's catholicism for you- handing down guilt before you're even old enough to know what it means. he didn't seem to mind though- had his hair washed with holy water and got to chew on a candle stick.

on another note- someone's walking on my ceiling.
they've been doing work on the building this week. some guy's on top of my office for no appearent reason. yesterday a 'paid professional' came to fix the light in tanya's office. not only did he stand on her desk while she was at lunch instead of getting, say, a ladder... but he stood on her work leaving black work-boot foot prints all over her papers. them is some smarts.

however, this week is gonna be nice and short. i leave for TO thursday after work. and i am definately going to be ready for a nice long weekend. though i wish Len could have come with me- a mere 24 hours in a week just isn't cutting it. besides, it's his birthday today and i'm stuck here in my office. i'm sure he's making the most of it on the golf course ;)

jon- i'll have to get your number before i leave so i can give you a call when i get in.

goddamn estrogen

this has been the worst week ever.
i'm super emotional for no reason.
i didn't see lenny last weekend, so i'm missing him like crazy but i can't get a hold of him.
our cable and network went down at work on monday.
i discovered i'm poorer than i thought.
my car didn't start yesterday.
i jammed my finger in a drawer this afternoon.

and yet i have no right to complain-
my thoughts are with you. this is not a wall; it's just an obstacle.

You are water. You're not really organic; you're
neither acidic nor basic, yet you're an acid
and a base at the same time. You're strong
willed and opinionated, but relaxed and ready
to flow. So while you often seem worthless,
without you, everything would just not work.
People should definitely drink more of you
every day.

Which Biological Molecule Are You?

light show

i think someone just turned off the sun.
it's so dark outside from the dense cloud cover that it looks like we're having an eclipse. [plus, my tinted windows don't help]. thunder and lightening are just starting now, but our agent from the valley says it's been going for about 2 hours there, along with buckets of rain.
my power has flickered 3 times already, locking up my computer for at least 10 mins while it resets each time.

i remember working at Tim's when the power went out once. we played cards and waved customers away because w/o power we had no access to the cash registers and no water for coffee. we were informed that it would be off all day, yet due to tim's being open 24/7, there are no alarms in the building. so we couldn't just close up and go home. we had to 'man the fort' and keep vigil on the donuts.

*selfish whining ahead*

pet peeves at my work:

-hotel clerks that call in paper orders w/o having their numbers ready, then make me wait while they shuffle around deciding.
-customers who spout off their address and phone number the second i answer the phone, without saying what their issue is, or even "hello".
-cust. service reps who send all their complaint reports to our halifax branch, even complaints from vancouver.
-corporate clients who don't know how to pay bills or can't do math [*cough* sobeys/irving *cough*]
-the new "voice activated" phone service.

Le Chateau- Men's

there's just something about having an ex-boyfriend come out of the closet that makes me smirk. i wish i had been there. i wish i had seen the pink shirt. the bright eyes and shakey smile.
i can't decide if it hurts, the tiniest bit.
it both validifies and falsifies everything about that time.
i need to see him, that much i know. and if nothing else i'm very proud of him. can we go for gelato again? listen to the 'navy blues' album? spill popcorn at the theatre?
would you laugh if you knew?

the windows in my office are tinted.
from the outside, you can't see in and are instead faced with your own reflection.
this means that occasionally, people forget that there is in fact someone on the other side who can see out. they'll wander by, picking their nose.. or stand right next to the window while having their smoke, and examine themselves in my window. my desk is situated directly on the other side of the glass. i stare at them glaringly, hoping they'll peer close enough to get past the reflectivity and suddenly realize what they're doing. ut hasn't happened yet.

amusingly enough- usually the only people who walk by are from the set of offices next door... who have the exact same windows.

*rubs eyes*

melissa's blog just gave me a mini case of cardiac arrest.
*puts on giant aviators*
ok... i might be ok now.

'fireworks emulating heaven'...


went to see the fireworks in bedford last night with my parents. how the hell did bedford, of all places, end up getting what was promoted as the 'largest fireworks display in canada'? well, they didn't last more than 15 mins, but it was a pretty spectacular 15 mins. didn't really know where to look next, there was so much going on at once, right over our heads and into the water.

but the really interesting part was how ridiculous all the traffic was. the bedford highway and hammonds plains rd were lined up for kilometres. when we got down to the main road [walking], we followed the crowd past sobeys to cross the railroad tracks to get to the park. but there were police there turning everyone back. so we walked down the tracks for 5 mins or so, [mom and i nearly running to keep up with dad] climbed up a hill [slipping on the grass in my flip flops] to a bridge, and finally made it into the park just as the show started.

apparently when everyone was fighting to leave as soon as possible, someone got hit by a car. and i don't doubt it. that was one of the largest masses of people in a small area i've ever seen, with the exception of the floor section of the metro center.