went to see kathryn at work on my lunch break. wanted to see if she was ok. but i couldn't even talk when i got there. i was too shook up. the heat was insane- my shades fogged up as soon as i stepped into the car.
driving down oxford, i thought i recognized your walk. i do that all the time, so i assumed it was just my mind playing tricks again. but there you were.
looking the same. dressing the same. walking the same, with someone beside you. i don't drive by your house anymore. but i still scan pedestrians, apparently.. and cyclists.
i wanted to stop- to say something, anything. i was in traffic, i had to keep moving. you didn't even see me. i had a panic attack in my car. i've never had one before. hyperventilating, a huge head rush, and my face and hands went numb. i rounded the next few corners and stopped the car as soon as i could. didn't think i had the capability to react that strongly to anything, let alone to you. but there i was.
sucking air in by gasps.