What's more fun than the Waiting Game..?

i'm spending my whole day waiting.
-waiting for my prof to show up, until i found out the class was cancelled but she didn't tell us.
-waiting for the secretary at the health clinic to look up from her computer screen and see me staring her down, strategically coughing for attention, and getting angrier by the second.
-waiting for lenny to get here for lunch at 12:30. [he got here at 2, but he brought food, so that helped a bit.]
-waiting for the plumber who was supposed to be here at 1:30. [it's now quarter to 3] we have to walk to the athletic center to use the bathroom.
it's just a beautiful way to spend a day, really.. doing nothing.. not being able to plan anything, or go anywhere.. or really accomplish anything worthwhile.

as a side note- i hate the female body and whoever decided it would be a great way to design an organic entity.

< / bitchfest >

Wow, it's good to be clean...

due to the disturbing number of rare species growing in the bath tub at andrei's place, caro and i both decided to forego showering for 3 days while in halifax. that's what you get when living with three boys. but at least we got ultra-pampered at the spa on saturday. [salt scrubs are the best thing ever.]
one of the roommates, jared, has a bunny[named 'bear'], two mice, and an albino snake. they're awesome. [and no, the mice aren't just for the snake]. their friend joey wears the biggest pimp chain i've ever seen, but seems to be a nice guy, and we had fun swapping work stories.

i tried sushi yet again on saturday.. this time doing it properly at momoya's on barrington, instead of just supermarket california rolls. i still hate it, but it was a valid attempt, and i even found a couple of things that i could somewhat manage to get down.

met with mom briefly for lunch. appearently she thinks i don't do any work. ....i do *some*... ok, so maybe i spent the past 3 years working my ass off and now i'm just as happy with "getting by". *shrugs* something tells me i'll remember road trips, spa days, nights out, and new friends more fondly than hours spent reading and writing.

SPA DAY!

Caro and I booked our appointments for spa day 2005, on saturday. We're going to "Remedy Spa" on barrington for the do it yourself facial bar, a 30 minute massage, and a sea salt scrub body treatment. mmmmmmm. i can't wait. ..so much for saving my money.

hope to see you all at Geek Beer friday night, and maybe head downtown or perhaps to the grawood after?
we have no current plans for saturday night either- so if anyone wants to go out or has any other ideas, let me know! we'll be getting into Halifax around 4pm friday, and you can reach us at 489-3020; andre's cell.

The lengths we go to in order to get drunk..

last night was supposed to be carolyn's private party that i was hosting at the pub, which is normally closed on sundays. i was basically gonna bartend and babysit for them while they got slooshed in their favorite establishment.

then the snowstorm hit. i got back from moncton at 9am yesterday so the boys could get back to halifax ahead of most of the snow. we hibernated indoors all day. caro, andre and i ordered chinese for lunch and wheeled it into the bedroom on a cart so we could continue our huddle. by suppertime we were concerned that no one was going to make it out to our party because the conditions were so bad. however, MTA came to the rescue by announcing they were cancelling monday's classes! wohoo! official snow day.
scooter took the obvious route and decided to open the pup since all the students would be looking for a place to get drunk now, and the LC was already closed.

around 8pm, we bundled up in many many layers of clothes, grabbed the birthday cake, and started the adventure to the pub. there was a foot of snow in the roads, even where they had already been plowed. but the worst thing about snow in sackville, is that it's always super-fine blowy snow... that builds into ginormous drifts from the wind coming in off the marshes. on campus the drifts were 4 or 5 feet high and the only way to get to the other side was to go through them. when we finally arrived, we decorated a corner of the pub with streamers and balloons. the rest of the night was filled with drinking games, cake, random photos, and dollar drink specials thanks to scoots.

such a great night. proof that the best ones aren't necessarily the well-planed ones.

Geeks in Moncton

So after kurt, ian, kel, doug and i spent 20 mins listing every Canadian Heritage Moment commercial we could think of... exactly 50 of them... and quoting them every step of the way... we go online to try to find out if we missed any, and find a list:

You know you're too Canadian IF:

13. You have memorized the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments, including your favourites, "Burnt Toast!", "You know I cannot read a word...", and "Kanata".

so yea.. we're officially way too canadian.. and pretty bored.

So- for your enjoyment- our list, in the order we rememebred them:

1- burnt toast
2- irish orphans
3- luis riel
4- indian tree of peace
5- life blood of the farm
6- french prison... note in the pie
7- inukshuk ["now the people will know we were here"]
8- canadian flag design
9- kanata ["i think he means those houses- the village"]
10- french impressionist
11- laura secord
12- general fippes ["ah, fippes, oui!"]
13- responsible government ["it's a canadian idea"]
14- jewish guy.. MP
15- prison torture ["Is THIS normal!?"]
16- pacific railroad
17- standard time
18- "Nice women don't want the vote."
19- "This is what I use to teach the children to read."
20- halifax explosion
21- canadian rowing team
22- basketball / peach baskets ["but i need thses baskets back!"]
23- bluenose ["just one more- then ye can rest."]
24- goalie mask / puck to the face
25- rocket richard
26- emily carr
27- vikings
28- woman pilot in fog
29- praries and the grass house
30- alexander graham bell
31- marconi
32- China / Lake michigan ["i'll meet them wearing this"]
33- Pine st. becomes valour rd.
34- NWT mountie and the yank with the gun
35- Walsh / McLeod ["they never lied to us"]
36- first public hospital
37- midwife in the snow
38- underground railroad ["paw ain't gonna make it!"]
39- fires in quebec
40- human rights commission
41- medium is the message
42- female doctor
43- guy going into igloo
44- montreal world expos
45- maple syrup ["this sweet gift"]
46- cod fish ["cod so thick, they stayed the progress of the ship."]
47- st. lawrence seaway
48- winnie and christopher robbin["i don't know- just winnie..the..pooh."]
49- superman ["take it, it's a gift.."]
50- dinosaurs

damned when i do, damned when i don't.

so after a semester worth of carolyn complaining that i don't "express myself" and that she never knows if i'm upset about anything, and she just wishes i'd tell her if anything was ever wrong.. i get chewed out for piping up.

i was hella tired ysesterday- slept for two hours in the afternoon. had a lot of work to do. told carolyn i wasn't going out- i was doing school work all night. she has friends over for dinner. they polish off all the liqour bottles in my kitchen. they drag me out to 'kieth's crew'. i'm bored as sin, because i hardly know a soul there, and appearently it's painfully obvious. so when they start announcing "Drink 'Til You PUKE!" over the speakers, i take it as my cue to leave. say goodbye to caro & co.
about 40 mins later they all show up at the apartment while i'm in bed. i sit quiet in my room for about an hour and a half while they yell and drink and smoke in the kitchen. eventaully i decide they might just be here all night, so i wander down the hall and say i'm sorry, but suggest that they go next door to sarah's apartment- since she's with them and her place is empty. the crew takes off.

this morning carolyn tells me i was too up-front about the situation and too "mom-like", suggesting i should have reacted differently.. maybe just joined them in the kitchen and stayed up to drink more. [ie: shut up and sit down] yea. fuckin beautiful.

Close Encounters

I was walking back from class today, in the snow, bundled up but kind of enjoying the light dusty flakes. everyone on the sidewalk was dressed much the same way- red faces peeping out of hoods, hats, and scarves.
We looked at each other while getting closer and closer. We were both about 3 steps past each other when she said "suzanne?..." and i said "laurie..?"

I thought you lived in moncton now? you graduated last year- what are you up to? i havn't seen you since exams started last year. we never got a chance to have our 'goodbye lunch'.
Turns out she and her boyfriend just bought a house in sackville. she's living here and working at a college in moncton. she had the day off school and decided to go for a walk- right past my house.
You'll stop in sometime, right? same place.
Good to see you :)

Happy Birthdays Andrew & Kelly!!!

So many birthdays this week. Carolyn's was also yesterday, but we're hosting her party on sunday.. for some reason.
Looking forward to Saturday. I suppose I'll have to actually get some work done in the next couple of days if I'm gonna get my ass to Moncton for it. I've been so very unproductive lately. But it's been a lot of fun... doesn't that count for anything?

The other students in my classes are crossing their fingers for another snow day tomorrow- but we're only scheduled to get about a cm. But who doesn't love a snow day? I got to see you 3 days in a row this week. :)

lenny and jill - at 6am once they realized they were snowed in. 

lenny and forest, caught inside at scooter's on the boxing day snowstorm. 

Like the desert.

so appearenltly my apartment has no water after somewhere around 3am. carolyn's discovered this before.. trying to have a bath when drunk late at night. what are people like us supposed to do? how am i supposed to brush my teeth tongiht when i come home at 5:30am?

what a great day/night. running errands and being productive all day. classes. a long run and weights at the gym. got groceries. got waxed, lol. potluck dinner. a "classy dinner party". carolyn and i had a blast preping everything. we're such suzy home-makers. we collectively own a large stack of decorating magazines. shelley and i spent the whole night alternating between dancing and sitting with drinks while making fun of people. flashbacks were rampant. shelley was hit on several times, and appearently there were "a lot of enquiries" made about us.
i had almost no desire to go home. piles of energy, and i don't think the single Redbull had much to do with it. hung out and swapped stories until late. charles walked me home, complaining about wanting a girlfriend the whole way. if i were single i'd probably date him in a second. except for the whole military thing.

found caro's wallet on the stairs in the hall. i imagine she must've had an interesting night. from the second we left the house and she called after us "i'll meet you at the pub!" i looked at shell and said there was no way she'd see us there. after half a bottle of sauvignon blanc she'd be lucky to make it next door.

school work tomorrow afternoon, and then work at the pub until the wee hours tomorrow night.

Why does this matter so fucking much?

i want to be cool and casual, and all i get is nerves. bundles of edgy boiling nerves. why do i care so much? why does it feel like years of playing and writing, growing and improving all landed on those ten minutes? four years worth of auditions- at the very least, three of them failures. from my first semester on campus when andrew introduced me to Conduct Becoming, i wanted to be on it so bad. like if there was one thing i accomplished at mta, i wanted that to be it. and the judges. i've played i front of every one of them a million times before. they all know my songs. my voice. maybe that's the problem- i'm not new and brilliant. if they wanted me, they could've had me at the start. now i'm just beating an old drum.
there are more people auditioning now than any other year. factor in that, plus the people that just automatically make it on without auditioning at all, and there's just no shot in hell. it's like that milk ad- i don't want to be the best musician, just a pretty good one.
there are so many amazing musicians on campus. they're wonderful. i love listening to them.
so why do i feel like shit just because there are 16 tracks worth of people better than me?

... now i feel better because not only was the class this morning was just an overview, but i whizzed through my philosophy readings, had coffee with jill, and a super-wicked workout at the gym.
yes! that's right- the gym. i hate the afternoon gym, but with my schedule this semester i'd have to be up at like 7am to go in the morning. it was packed this afternoon, but it motivated me to push hard so i wouldn't look like the loaf that i am, who hasn't worked out in 3 months.. eep!
the rest of this lovely day will be spent ...
-cooking a nice healthy/tasty supper for one, out of my new cookbook [i wonder if there's wine left]
-playing guitar to prepare for my Conduct Becoming audition tomorrow night: last shot.. *le sigh*.
-doing some sociology reading at the library.
-maybe watch a movie if caro rented one.

best day this year.

i am off to such a great start.

not only did i spend the night watching pro-wrestling instead of reading, but then i skipped both of my classes today so that i could sleep in and have breakfast with this guy. but, can ya blame me? he's pretty hot.

Did I mention how great you looked?

i was thinking about calling you, but it was 2am.
everything was closed up for the night, and we walked by the shop window on our way home. you waved, unlocked the door and stood in the steps in the snow in a t-shirt. it was definately one of those cute 'movie moments'. or maybe it's just because we watched richard gere tonight. pizza delight and a toonie movie makes a decent girl's night- and it doesn't even involve booze.
shall we dance?

Where credit is due...

The picture you see to the right is a photo of a drawing my sister did a number of years ago, using a regular Hb pencil. it's actually about 2.5 feet high. my mom has a copy of it framed in her room.

i've decided that my 'new year' started on january 2nd, 2005.

it started with a fight in the airport between my sister's boyfriend and a lobster salesman. there was swearing and a threat to call for security. my dad put his hand on jesse's chest as a warning. when we left sarah in the departures line-up she was still in tears. sometimes it's hard to see what the picture looks like when you're inside and covered in paint.

we drove to sackville in silence. my first three days back in the apartment i was basically alone, since andre was here visiting with carolyn. two of my first classes were cancelled. he didn't come to the hockey game, but he appologised a lot. we think he's not really a cook. the girls dragged me to paddy-o's but i wasn't in the mood for drinks. i've been 'out' to eat 5 times this week. today i bought groceries. i have read 6 pages, out of 300. i've been playing all the old songs on my guitar.

Ani.

it's a long long road
it's a big big world.
we are wise wise women
we are giggling girls.
we both carry a smile to show when we're pleased
we both carry a switchblade in our sleeves

tell you one thing
I'm gonna make noise when I go down.
for ten square blocks they're gonna know I died
all the goddesses will come up to the ripped screen door
and say, what do you want, dear? and I'll say,
I want inside.

I say I think he likes you
you say I think he do too
go and get him girl before he gets you
I'll be watching you from the window-
I will come to your rescue if he tries anything.

i am strong and beautiful.

i will be so by my own will and determination. i will not be merely one, but both. i will be soft and sweet and cold and calous; smiling and severe. shaking, and staring.
no one else will keep me safe.
i will lean on my own shoulders.

It's awefully cold outside, tonight.

i'm non-confrontational. not because i avoid it, but because i'm never quite sure how to do it. i tend to let things go their own way, and assume that it's not worth my while to do anything.
but i get stepped on sometimes.
i don't know how to be angry, so instead i'm the girl who perpetually forgives.
'out of sight, out of mind'.
but sometimes i have to slow down, and make myself think it through.. to actually deal with it instead of pushing it back, like too many times before.