damned when i do, damned when i don't.

so after a semester worth of carolyn complaining that i don't "express myself" and that she never knows if i'm upset about anything, and she just wishes i'd tell her if anything was ever wrong.. i get chewed out for piping up.

i was hella tired ysesterday- slept for two hours in the afternoon. had a lot of work to do. told carolyn i wasn't going out- i was doing school work all night. she has friends over for dinner. they polish off all the liqour bottles in my kitchen. they drag me out to 'kieth's crew'. i'm bored as sin, because i hardly know a soul there, and appearently it's painfully obvious. so when they start announcing "Drink 'Til You PUKE!" over the speakers, i take it as my cue to leave. say goodbye to caro & co.
about 40 mins later they all show up at the apartment while i'm in bed. i sit quiet in my room for about an hour and a half while they yell and drink and smoke in the kitchen. eventaully i decide they might just be here all night, so i wander down the hall and say i'm sorry, but suggest that they go next door to sarah's apartment- since she's with them and her place is empty. the crew takes off.

this morning carolyn tells me i was too up-front about the situation and too "mom-like", suggesting i should have reacted differently.. maybe just joined them in the kitchen and stayed up to drink more. [ie: shut up and sit down] yea. fuckin beautiful.