no pain no gain

i got my tattoo! yay! kel accompanied me and we read about std's in the coast. my tattoo guy, andy, was amused. it hurt like hell for the first 5 mins. i got a bit of a head rush at first. then it was numb and a-ok for the rest of the hour or so. and the best part: it looks amazing. exactly like the picture i gave him. really crisp, good bright colours. lots of detail.
YAY!
i may post pics once it starts to heal a bit for those people i don't see often.

fueds and family bonding

oh the drama.
dad's gone for a drive.. after breaking a plate, and skidding out of the driveway. dinner continued in silence. mom's gone for groceries. i shared a joint with jamie on the porch.
*smirk*

dinner tonight, tattoo and maybe bowling on thursday, drive to sackville & turn 22 on friday, only 4 days of work... all in all a good week lining up.

i'm making molasses-kahlua cookies.
want one?

progress

kels' post about counting got me thinking. i don't know what to count towards. tomorrow? the next time i see you? my mini-trips to sackville and TO? the end of the summer? australia?
i don't know which direction to count.
like thomas kuhn's discussion, is it progress 'towards' or 'from'?
from the first day? from the day that i left? from when i left you?

maybe i'll take your advice and stick with the small victories. we need them. i'll count towards the weekend, because i can't stop counting.

bored bored bored bored bored

...*images of sealab*...

day two- i have nothing to do. turns out the office isn't quite as swamped this year as they were last spring. we're been doing re-training in the morning, but now i've finished the miniscule paper sorting and number checking tasks they've given me. meanwhile, the coworkers responsible for providing me with work are out to lunch. (literally)
hence, boredom.
i can't check email because the server blocks it. but i can blog, and get to jon's site, no prob.

so, on another note..
a few of us are going to see the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galexy: tonight at 9:45 - Park Lane theatres, in case anyone missed our thread on FP. missa and i are heading into town around 7:30 for pre-movie coffee or meandering. call me if you want a lift.

first day back at work

i'm sitting at chris' desk. he's never in the office, so i get to take it over for the summer again. first thing i observe when i get settled at his desk- in the right hand drawer: a pack of cinnamon gum, and a pint of whiskey.
well done chris.

perplexed

so i've been trying to figure out why my photo-banner looks all pixelated and jumbled, when all my other photos are fine. i thought it was because it was resized. so i resized it properly in photoshop, and it looked great- but the second i upload it, it goes all goofy again. *frown*. i want my pics clear damnit. all the other ones work fine. anyone have any ideas?

finally home again

after 3 days in town, and 2 nights on friends' couches. it feels so good to be actually clean, lol. had a good few lazy days with ben, bee, murph, & co. was nice to see missa out with friends, even if we weren't there for too long.
i am sooooo broke!! how did this happen? oi. damned debit. i wonder if Utility takes visa? otherwise i'm gonna have to figure out how to scrounge cash for my tattoo in a few weeks :(

and so i return

degree in hand, wearing my mta grad ring, with my parents' toyota tercel and honda civic loaded to capacity. 4 years worth of accumulated stuff is far too much. we played tetris for a while to get it all to fit. but fit it did.
the ceremony was full of tradition and formailities- name called, kneel on stage, shake hands with chancellor, have sash placed on shoulders, accept diploma, shake hands, recieve pin, put on hat, switch tassle to opposite side.
i tried very hard not to laugh out load when kneeling and shaking hands with the chancellor as lenny yelled "Hoiy!" from the balcony. afterwards we all had lunch at joey's- my parents, carolyn, andrei, lenny, and i.
then i was faced with the difficult task of saying my goodbyes.
i'm taking a lot of deep breaths today.

i'm mostly unpacked now.
what are you doing this week? can i come?

thanks.

that's all i needed, i think.
i'm tired of all the "are you excited?", "isn't it great?", "are you getting drunk?"
i just needed an "are you ok? is there anything i can do?"
graduations, break ups, and moving should never happen all at once.
it's not healthy. it's ok to be bummed. it is.

when everything else is changing, i will be the constant.

knew it was coming

lenny and i just had 'the talk' about this summer. we'd both been procrastinating and putting it off, but being as i'm only in town for another 4 days it was definately due. so what's happening anyway? we basically agreed that long distance doesn't make sense.. if neither of us is planing to be in the same location again. this summer i'm in halifax, then off to australia in the fall. he's staying in sackville with his family, friends, and job.
so. i guess that's it for us. we both knew it was around the corner, but figured it was too good to pass up entirely. we had a great year, and i guess that's all we can hope for sometimes. keep in touch.

new phone!

i now have a cell phone, which should make this summer easier on my parents- so they can stop having to take all my messages while i'm not home.
my number is local to halifax: 222-1025
add it to your books!!

progress

i've been to the gym for an hour a day since i arrived in sackville on thursday. i'm taking advantage of the free facilities and my own free time while i can.
today i bumped up my free weights to 20lbs for single shoulder press, 40 for bench, and 50 for squats. sticking to the 15s for targeting the lats though. the nubody's in tantallon wants 200$ for a summer student membership this year! [as opposed to 150 last year]. not sure what i'm gonna do about that yet... anyone know of any cheaper gyms around?

and this afternoon lenny took me to the driving range to fire off some golf balls. lots of great pointers and i don't think i did half bad. pretty straight shots, only about 100 yards max for distance though.

tonight i'm going to help carolyn make couch cusions, then i'm watching wrestling, and relaxing with my boy and a small joint. yep. it's a hard day's work.

rain.
yellow flip flops.
movies in a bag.
the hems of my pants are wet, and my legs are sore from the past two days at the gym. sackville is nearly empty, but everyone who is left behind is a friend. this week is all about me. my town. my body. my graduation. my waiting. my resisting. my transition.