At a loss.
so i'm not sure what to do anymore.
i'm really not.
after years of being there for you, and feeling like you really were there for me, things have drifted. a lot. i try to pretend they havn't. i try to pretend i still have things in common with you when all i really have is your girlfriend, who has put in more effort and learned more about me in 3 months than you have in years. somehow, despite the way i kick myself for it, i still like you. i still want to have those links. i still want to think that we have more than memories from all those years. but i have a feeling that you think a lot more than you say, and that the criticisms that come through are only the surface of an iceburg.
fuck off: i support you.
i only want the same.
so i'm not sure what to do anymore.
i'm really not.
after years of being there for you, and feeling like you really were there for me, things have drifted. a lot. i try to pretend they havn't. i try to pretend i still have things in common with you when all i really have is your girlfriend, who has put in more effort and learned more about me in 3 months than you have in years. somehow, despite the way i kick myself for it, i still like you. i still want to have those links. i still want to think that we have more than memories from all those years. but i have a feeling that you think a lot more than you say, and that the criticisms that come through are only the surface of an iceburg.
fuck off: i support you.
i only want the same.
posted by Suzanne Zappia at 4:50 AM
3 Comments:
good morning..
damage control time.
I don’t believe there is any more “iceberg” as it were. As I’m sure you know by now if there was more I wanted to say I would have told you. I still consider you a great person but I’m disappointed in some of the things you’ve said recently about projects that I feel very strongly about. I would be less honest and less of a friend if I didn’t tell you.
There is a lot of work that goes into projects like the Holiday Ball, Conduct Becoming and Relay for Life. A lot of work that I consider to be really important and it affects me greatly. I don’t under any circumstances consider myself to be a judge of what a good friend is. I don’t consider people who don’t attend Holiday Ball, Relay or Conduct Becoming to be less friend-worthy.
I don’t dole out affection and loyalty to people who do things. I reserve the title of friend for people I respect and admire. There are not many people who have earned that title but you are certainly one of them. That is why I took the time to tell you that what I think you said was downright insulting and demeaning to a lot of people. People who have mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters and friends who have died and see the Holiday Ball as something beyond “cancer n shit”.
43% of Canadians will get cancer. I don't have any friends or relatives who have died of cancer. I involve myself in cancer projects because someday YOU might have cancer and I want to know that I have done everything I can to help.
i'm sorry for the way i reacted.
i just felt your commentary came a bit out of left field and it threw me off guard.
and you're right. i don't get it. i've never pretended that i feel anything deep and meaningful about cancer research fundraisers, or cystic fibrosis, or any other one. i don't know why, it's just me.
i support the holiday ball, relay for life, CB, and post links to your site on my blog not because i'm really seriously affected by what they're doing, but because of my friends. it's important to me because it means so much to you.
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