cold sweat and dreams

upset, it was plain to see,
but i somehow didn't notice til he turned.

ragged vicious slash marks across the shoulders;
lines of dimentia set into the flesh
torn open and exposed to the world.
dirt and dust thrown in the wounds;
sooty black residue.

my lungs lept for my throat as if to escape believing.
seeing, knowing, feeling.
i hunched- afraid to stand.
somewhere along the way his expression had fallen
from sadness into a disjointed foulness.
hard-set jaw and blank unseeing eyes.

pacing, he turned again, to face the wall behind me-
looking past, not even through me.
beads of metal set into his chest,
like armour of a man needing protection
-from without, or within.

i shuddered and convulsed and my eyes
refused to remain shut,
as to open was the only way not to see.

starry eyed surprise,
i'm seeing stars.