Just fucking beautiful

so here's the thing- there's a phrase that works really well if you don't feel like coming out; it goes like this- "i don't feel like going out tonight." it's a lot better than saying "yea, i'll be there" and then not showing.

so here i am, on a monday night, at the pub, drinking alone. with charles, the bartender.
shelley had a paper [excusable, and she let me know]
jill "got pizza" and never answered her phone after that.
jen never showed.
lenny never showed and isn't answering his phone.
carolyn- my roommate and closest friend most of the time at mta- and sarah came to the pub *with* me, then went for a "smoke break" and never came back.

now THAT pisses me right the fuck off.
it's cruel and irrational.
fuck