got milk?

y'know those milk adds.. where they say no one strives to be second best?
the one with the musician guy, who says he never wanted to be the best musician, "just a pretty good one", and it's supposed to be this big joke? well i only want to be a "pretty good" one. getting to play in public once in a while, and having people appreciate it. whether they're strangers, or my best friends. i know my music isn't the kind that sells on a large-scale. it's not mega-marketable. that's ok. the kind of places i like to play aren't about that anyway. it's about local talent; whether at MTA or GeekBeer. it's individualism. having a piece of yourself in every note..

the songwriter's competition on campus is monday. i don't intend to win anything. it's just a good opportunity to play in a crowded space. maybe be heard by someone new. this is an event that gets bigger every year.. and as it does i enjoy it less everytime. [and no andrew, this isn't a dig at you- you're very good at marketing; it's what you do.]
i sat down with carolyn on thursday night and played a bunch of songs for her. she listened- really listened. she told me what worked. what didn't. she said what i needed more of, less of. etc.
no one's ever done that for me before.
it's one thing for your friends to let you play and say "sure, it's great- you're great!" but that doesn't help me. it's not constructive. besides, when i play for a crowd i can tell who's actually listening. i see their faces and the way they lean in.. and it's a very small number who do.