i don't believe that i 'feel' with the same intensity that most people do.

it seems that all around me, people are immersed in feeling. they are overjoyed; they are crushed; they are in love; they are heartbroken.
i think.
i process.
and when i do feel, i seem to feel less.
there are advantages and disadvantages..

stress is minimal.
concern is analytical.
but butterflies are fleeting, passing things- and even the sad emotions, that for most are uncontrolable, must be pressed to emerge.

thinking of all the plans we had made- of the life we had set out for ourselves, i am sad in a nostalgic sort of way. yet so much is changing and shifting around me, that i have a hard time concentrating on feeling it.

"I never thought this could happen
But somehow the feeling's gone
You got sick of the patterns
And I got lost in this song
Hey hey I guess it hasn't hit me yet
I fell through this crack
And I kinda lost my head
I stand transfixed
Before this street light
Watching the [rain] fall
on this cold [may] night."