I'm the middle kid, which means growing up i spent a fair bit of time with both simblings. sarah and i used to ban together as girls to make fun of jamie. we used to do crafts together- every type of craft under the sun that us or my mother could invent. we painted wooden boxes, easter eggs, rocks, christmas ornaments; we sculpted fimo, plaster of paris; we etched glass, and melted wax to make candles.

but the great outdoors was for jamie and i to explore. back before they developed Joshua Slocum drive and planted houses in our paths, we had miles of woods with abandoned roads to roam. We used to set out with boards of wood, a hammer and nails in search of a place to build a tree house. we had built them near the house before- in the back yard- but that didn't quite satisfy our thirst for independence.. to have somewhere all to ourselves where we would reign.

we used to go to the "dynamite shack" [litterally an old shack that used to be used to store dynamite for blasting through rock when the surrounding subdivisions were being built] but that had since been taken over by unruly teenagers with booze who had managed to furnish the whole place and then burn it down. we had to find somewhere new. we set off on one of the paths where we used to go as a family to pick blueberries. the farther we went, the less the path resembled a path, and the more it took the form of gnarled tree branches reaching towards us from all directions, and short shrubs scratching at our bare calves. we trenched through mushy mossy bogs and over rocky hills- all enclosed by a thick cover of trees. there were mosquitos-o-plenty but we were equipped with a hammer and we couldn't turn back until we found it: the cabin that was allegedly hidden somewhere within these woods. andrew foster had told us so.

jamie was my little brother: we were a year and a half apart. but in the woods, he was the adventurer- the leader- and i was the follower. i felt small and unsure as i watched his back plunging farther into unknown territories. we'd been walking for days it seemed. i had to yell to him from time to time to slow down when i lost sight of his figure. we reached a small river, and jamie decided to go on- certain that the cabin was just past this. he took the wood and hammer and scrambled over the river in a leap of scrawny legs. he would go just a bit ahead, he said, and come back to tell me when he had found it.
i waited.
i waited, and waited, and scratched at the bumps forming on my legs from numerous bites. it was getting darker, and i was sure he was gone. he had forgotten to come back. i called his name a few times, trying to see how far he had gone. he didn't answer. i called and yelled, and started to cry. i was small and lost with a terrible sense of direction [which remains with me to this day] and no one to be lost with. i cried out once more, and heard the most joyful sound in return: "WHAT?!!?" he was there. he was upset at me for whining, but he was there. he came back and helped me over the river, and through the trees.. and there it was. the cabin.

it was located in a clearing of trees which had undoubtably been used to build it. A log cabin, with whole tree trucks for each level of each wall. it was elevated off the ground by a couple of feet, and there seemed to be no way inside, until we located the unlatched "trap door" underneath. we climbed in to the tiny 'cabin' which was scarcely large enough to fit more than the two of us inside it. nothing but blank tree-trunk walls, and dirt on the plywood floors. back outside jamie climbed along the 10 foot high "bridge" [a long board of wood which stretched out across the clearing to the nearest tree.] With his hammer and nails, he nailed on a new board of wood. His addition. He had claimed it in our names. [despite the fact that it was almost certainly built as a location for hunters to hide out while awaiting prey.]

we havn't really gone on any adventures since. the development of our woods makes 'exploration' somewhat of a moot point. but this one sticks in my mind. i have trouble calling him my little brother anymore, being that he stands at roughly 6'3".. . something like he did back then, in the woods, when i was small and scared, and watching his tall shoulders plunge forward into the trees.